UUrrgh

These few days I havnt had enough good sleep, always wake up after 2-3 hours of sleeping and to go back to sleep for another couple of hours and wake up again and that's it for the sleep I am having all day.

Am I feeling anxious, nervous, or stressed out, I have no idea. But something is definitely wrong. Well I came out to one person, and one person only. I think that time when I was "coming out" to that person, I did not cry, just tearing up. Not until it dawned on me that I really did come out, I just let loose. Not a big cry though. Ironically, it was someone that I had never talked to before that.

The next person that I want to come out with are my two best friends, P and K, I was thinking of coming out to them through skype or facebook private message. But while I tried to talk to them, they are busy studying for exam. So after thinking it through, I have decided I would tell them when they are back home, and I will come out to them face to face. And one of them is in another state while another one is in overseas studying. I wont be seeing them that soon, so I guess the coming out thing to them will have to wait.

SO besides the two of them, I feel like I need to tell this to two of my "girlfriends" as well. Although we knew each other for less than a year, but they have been there for me whenever I need them. And they are just some crazy bitches that you always can count on to have fun with. But the thing is is that one of them let's just called her O, I can tell she has an intuition that I am gay. And sometimes just giving me hints. And we do talk about guys (like I would pretend to be the straight pseudo-gay friend of hers that enjoys doing that, when in fact on the inside I do enjoy doing that, Confused? me too) So I guess coming out to her, the chances of she accepting it will be higher than that of she rejecting it. Which is probably the inverse for the second and third friend, Y and C.
Well, both of them are sorta religious Christians. (not that I have anything against that) And on several occasions they have expressed some not-so-good opinions on gay or lesbians.

What worries me is that, this bunch of friends are the only people I have got in this school. And I will be seeing them (if I dont fail my exams) for the next 4 years. So if it's out, it's out and my schooldays would depend on them (more specifically their opening or closing of their big mouths).

Urgh, another dilemma huh. To say or not to say, and past experiences taught me not to do so.