My Best Day Ever.

Because I finally came out to someone that I know. R.

So before going out with her, a few days before I just talked to her and said I have a surprise that I wanna show her when I meet her. She even thought that I have a new tattoo or something. LOL.

Anyway, so I fetched her from her house in the afternoon-evening, (which is supposed to be early afternoon, but got delayed because the girl wanna get her hair dry) --- probably one of the reasons why I like men. hahaha. So on the way to the mall that we wanna hang out, I was just interrogating her about everything that she would tell me about her new bf. Not gonna go too much details into that. So we were just chatting everything and some crap as well. And I was anticipating and dreading at the same time what is gonna come.

So we reached the mall and we just sat down on a bench after she bought herself a yoghurt. So after we chatted for a while, I just summoned the courage inside and I asked her "do you still remember that I have a surprise for you?"

"Yea yea what is it?"

And I asked her "Do you have anything that you wanna know about me?"

"Er not really."

and that time I decided to say it. "R, I think..... I think I.... I think...." I just got stuck there. All the rehearsing that I was doing before at home, was not the same at all.
My mind was filled with dread that time, while I was shifting uneasily on the bench.

And she was like, "What????? What???"

And what I could say was "I think... I think I ...."

I literally couldnt bring myself to say it.

But finally I said it.

"I think I am gay" and the tears just came out of nowhere when I said it. I caught a glimplse of her eyes widening. I lowered my head down, looked away, trying to bury myself. And all I could hear is that "It's ok, it's alright, don't cry"

I raised my head and looked at her and she said "It's ok, there's no judgement here. I completely understand"

"It's actually ok alright. U are no different fr0m the person before you told me. In fact I am glad that you trust me enough to tell me your deepest secret."

Lol, she did ask me questions like "Are you sure" and asked me how do I know I am gay (not that I have 100% completely come to terms with it yet) and stuff, thinking that I am still going through a phase, but after a while she said " You are big boy now, you know what you want."

Now the first part is over, I told her that "There is also something else that I need to tell you." And so I just came clean to her that I tried to get her to be my girlfriend for everyone and myself to see, so that she could save me from being gay and all, and I apologized to her. At that moment, I was expecting her to flare up and told me off or something like that, but she just said it's ok.
When I heard that, relief just washed over me.

She also assured me that she would honour this trust and that she wont tell anyone, which I am really grateful of. We continued talking for 3 hours after that, about myself and her. Just pouring everything out. Everything that I had buried for this past 6 years, just finally saying it out in words how I really felt about everything, and not what the mask was saying to everyone else.

I have never felt so close and connected to her like this before. So we went for dinner after that, just playing with our iPhone, oh yea she's my iPhone buddy as well hhaha, trying to beat each other on a game until the restaurant closed and the waiter had to bring the bill for us without us requesting for it lol.

So we got onto a car and just went to another restaurant. The funny thing was that when I asked her what did she think I was gonna tell her, she told me that I would confess to her that I like her. Yea, in a certain way, she was kinda correct though. haha. Anyway, we also talked about what am I gonna do after that, whether or not to tell my family and friends, about how the society viewed gays and which guys are hot (still kinda new to me discussing hot guys with someone besides myself). Lolz, we hanged out for 9 hours just talking about almost everything. until 12 oclock midnight.

Now I am so glad that everything is out in the open, a huge weight (part of a much bigger bigger weight) has been lifted off, though not with everyone, but at least now with someone. And I couldn't ask for a better person to be the first friend that I come out to. I am so happy that I chose the right person that is so supportive and understanding of me.

And haha, and another good thing is that now she's my bitch and I am her gay boyfriend.

Lols R, if you are reading this, you are my OZZIE to my IZZIT.

It's my Best Day Ever... YET.